Establishing Intimacy – What's Your Way?

As  a woman, who is getting to know the deeper relationships and effects that gender differences have on each other, it is amazing when I have an experience that reveals interesting cultural gender differences.
Let me start out by prefacing that most people run on some combination of both masculine and feminine energy.  Many in a women’s body run more feminine energy, and many men run more masculine energy.  But that is not always true, sometimes it is the other way around.  There are many creative combinations out there, which is why we have the rainbow flag of LGBTQ.  Creation loves diversity and all colors are equally beautiful.
Today, I saw an amazing display of man meet man energy.  Afterwards I saw it was a way into how some men open to intimacy.  In this interaction I witnessed two men meeting for the first time.  These two men brandished their strong natures up front, really standing for themselves and in opposition at some points.  They banged their chests (figuratively), anger rose and fell, and then they came closer together.
As a women, who identifies more as a nurturer and deep listener, this would not usually happen for me.  If someone was loud like this or brandished their physical or energetic strength in such a way it would not make me feel closer to them.  It was like they created a container for their strength together, and once they felt met in that they could then soften.  Safety had been established.  Mutual meeting of strength of character had occurred.  Strong emotions were allowed to move and be seen.  Then vulnerability surfaced, and the space became more intimate.
I would not open easily to relating like this upon a first meeting.  To me, I feel able to be vulnerable most easily when there is softness and openness right up front.  For me this is more relatable – a soft, opening into relationship.
Vulnerability is a universal human trait, and a key to intimacy.  We establish intimacy usually through some connection and most often the strongest bonds are established when we are vulnerable together.  We forget this a lot in our go, go, go, emotionally repressed society.  How do you open to another and allow intimacy to arise?   What makes you feel safe to open up?  How does your gender identity affect that?
These are all important questions to ask yourself to know yourself better and make a choice about if that is how you want to continue to relate or do you want to explore other options in relationship.  If you do I’m here to help aid such explorations in your self-process and help you move through blocks to uncover new intimacies with yourself and others.

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